if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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