Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My vagina is officially offended.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
