Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
