What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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