my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
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he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
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2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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