i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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