No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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