I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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