You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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