nut hugger
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
