Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
