the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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