I want to have your abortion
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
