Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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