Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
birth control should be required to get into college
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize