..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
