Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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