Swine flu. Run for my life!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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