I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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