With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Bang-toberfest begins!!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
