belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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