If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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