nut hugger
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
