I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
