I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
