what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
