He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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