Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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