The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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