You really coming over, don't trick.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize