Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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