i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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