I want to have your abortion
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
