Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
