walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
