i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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