She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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