she woke up with a sticky ear
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
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I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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