ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
