I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize