I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
