Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
