Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize