It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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