That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
