Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
