When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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