literally had 100 drinks last night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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