He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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