im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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