I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize