I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Randomize
