epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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