distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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