Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have fence marks all over my body
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
