I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
