id be glad to
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
