I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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