Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
