I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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